Some behavioral experts claim that love-mates select each other by sniffing: when body odors are a match, love is in progress, leaving other personal characteristics totally irrelevant. While this bold and interesting theory gives room for questioning and debate, fact is that body odors provoke very strong responses in human beings.
One reason why lotions and perfumes are so popular. Fact is also that people hesitate to comment on body odors, especially when someone smells awful. This phenomenon came to my attention while teaching a ‘sensitive-issues’-class to young mental health professionals. Most of the students complained about bad smelling clients. At the same time these students experienced stress and anxiety, even by the thought of confronting a client, for example by saying: ‘apparently you forgot to use deodorant today’. Now it must be said that people in general find it hard to make corrective remarks about something intimate, like an open zipper, crooked lipstick or a moustache with food crumbs. However, of practicing psychologists, who are paid for their services, in particular to give constructive criticism, one would expect no inhibitions when it comes to informing a patient about his bad habits. Apparently sniffing and telling is such an intrusion into the private domain of an individual that even trained professionals feel that a line of common decency is crossed; even though it is the other person who crosses the line. Quite the opposite is true for married couples. He will comment immediately when she shows too much cleavage and her list of intimate comments is almost endless. She will say: ‘you haven’t shaved properly’, ‘your shirt is hanging out of your pants’, ‘don’t pick your nose’, ‘stop smacking your food’, ‘you smell like a dead horse’ or ‘you laugh like a haunted hyena’. And mind you: I am not even exaggerating. So when contrasting corrective remarks between trained psychologists and married couples the conclusion must be drawn that more can learned and gained by listening to your spouse. Theoretically, that is. Because in real life people value the comments of their therapists more than they do of their spouse.
When it comes to confronting people about their bad smell, I myself prefer an indirect approach. My first question would be: ‘would you feel bad if people turned their back on you and not knowing why’? After a ‘yes’ I would start sniffing with a nauseating grin on my face.
dit ga ik dus gewoon niet lezen ! doe ff normaal wijnberg
hans
13/05/2016 12:04
(8 jaren geleden)
Wijnberg goes international :-)
Albert
11/05/2016 13:52
(8 jaren geleden)
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